9. If I Were a Habsburg

 If I were a Habsburg, each meal would be a feast. My house would occupy 60 acres, and I would have a separate summer estate. While dining, this would run the length of the table:

And the centerpiece would look like this (solid gold of course):

My napkins would be folded like this:

And only 2 people in the world would know how to do it right.

We would use every one of these utensils. And my horses would dance and be kept in fancy stables.